Today was long and boring
And now it’s time for bed. I wish I was more interesting, my page is rather dull, but at least I can say that with a bit of humor.
This is just so people know I’m not dead, I’ve just been very busy and had nothing to talk about, nothing to really complain about. Progress is slow, I’ve had a few rather lonely nights, and become emotional or upset once or twice, but I haven’t slid back into depression. Thanks. :)
I need something to do
I think I’m starting to go stir crazy. I feel like I have more energy than I used to, but nothing to do with said energy. This is an unexpected issue.
A New Obstacle
It seems that even though I’m working my way out of my shell a little bit at a time, the people I know still think of me a certain way. This is understandable, and I think it will change over time, but it isn’t making my progress any easier. A big part of this is that I really wish I’d make a little more progress with girls. I’m not looking for casual sex and to never call...
Girls, Guys, Self Esteem
Hello everyone, I just wanted to say hi and that I’ve been in better spirits lately, much better than I have felt for a long time. A lot of people on tumblr post their personal problems and feelings, and that was really hard for me to do, so thank you to all the people that took the time to read it, and extra thanks to the people who took a few minutes to talk to me. I have read a lot of...
The guy that I confronted has now actually gone out of his way to make sure that something he was going to do was ok with me (not asking for my permission, but making sure that it wasn’t going to cause any problems for me). I’m glad I went through with talking to him, and stuck it out in this particular situation. Things are so much better now. He’s even talking about hanging...
A Few Days
The last few days have been somewhat boring, but not depressing or upsetting. The girl that walks her dog waves at me. I like that. Other than that, there has been very little of interest going on. I need to find more things to do. But still, there’s not much to complain about compared to a few weeks back.
I had a pretty long talk yesterday with someone I really look up to, and totally opened up about how I’ve felt for a long time. He knew about a fair amount of it, but was surprised about a few things I had to say, and then opened up about things he’s insecure about. It was really something to hear the strongest guy I know talk about things like that, and in an interesting way, it made...
Really good day
Today I continued my efforts to get out of my rut. That person I confronted the other day had avoided most of my attempts to get in touch with them, but today I pressed the issue and got through, and I think things are going my way a little more. They apologized for how they handled the things that made me upset, and even mentioned trying to patch things up (besides making right the thing that...
I just wanted to say thank you to the other tumblr people who have offered advice and support. I still have a long way to go, but I feel good about having made a few important steps toward my goals. Thank you. =]
Today, I went out of my way to confront someone about something that has been bothering me for a long time. I wasn’t rude about it, but I didn’t sugarcoat anything. Also, to get in touch with this person, I needed to go through two other people. And it looks like it paid off. It’s not resolved yet, but it got the ball rolling. I feel really good about this, and really good about...
People either really like that picture of the phases of the moon, or that little note I wrote about not having much to say. I still have nothing much to say. Wish that wasn’t the case, but that’s life I suppose. How about you guys?
I just logged on and saw that I had a message, which was surprising, because I’ve had very few on here (that makes sense, since I’m not incredibly social). It was just spam about “make money from home, totally legit!”. I do not really believe in fighting, but it would be nice if karma somehow disabled the computers of people like that.
This is new
There is a girl that is ridiculously beautiful that keeps walking her dog on my street, and the dog keeps wanting to come down my driveway. I was getting the mail and the girl waved and smiled, so I waved back. I think I like communicating without talking. Then the dog sort of spooked me (his bark was rather loud and ferocious). I wonder where this girl came from. But, talking to girls is hard...
I need to find a way to get a little more enthusiastic about something, anything really. I feel like my existence right now is really just missing something worthwhile, and I don’t like it very much. I haven’t made much progress in putting myself out there with people in day to day life, but I will say that it’s much easier on here now. The one person I talked to and said I...
Superman’s weakness is Kryptonite, mine is just about everything else.
I realize I need more to do, and maybe other people to talk to about shared interests. And I’m sorry to the few people that have been kind enough to chat, but even though I’m sure it’s great, I’m not interested in Harry Potter.
Do you ever?
Want to post something, but have absolutely nothing interesting to share? :(
I miss just cuddling with someone until we drift off to sleep.
If anyone knows
I’d really like to learn more about getting in shape. I’m not in bad shape, but I’d like to add some more muscle mass, and get my abs to show a bit better, but I’m unsure of how much weight to use and how many times, and how many days to work out. Please point me to a good site or blog, or fill me in (and it would be nice to have some reasoning behind it, maybe some...
Doing ok today
My family is a giant nuisance, but for some reason it’s not bothering me today. For absolutely no logical reason, I feel pretty good. I think maybe the new exercise routine is doing something that’s making me feel better for the rest of the day. Not always, but sometimes.
I am sure I am not the first person to come to this realization, but I just listened to a female friend (no sexual or romantic feelings on either side, but a strong bond none-the-less) vent for a long time about how she never hears compliments from her boyfriend. She is upset because he doesn’t tell her that she’s pretty, or that he likes her outfit, or anything similar. Now, this is...
Tumblr Security Log-in
I just clicked the page of a new follower, and it showed a page asking me to log in with my email address and password to Tumblr because of adult content. Is this real, or is it a scam like that IQ test thing that was going around?
Someone tell me something I should do to occupy myself. A book, a movie, a skill to learn, a food to cook, a thing to do. I’m losing my mind with boredom lately.
I'm not sure if it was a good idea
I purposefully decided to follow a few blogs that have pictures of attractive girls, and I realize now that some of them show those women in various… acts and situations…. which I’m not judging, but I wonder now if I’m one of those people who can’t look at junk food without having an almost uncontrollable urge to devour it. It might be that my biology is changing...
Once in a while, shouldn’t a surprise be something GOOD? Why don’t I ever get good surprises? Just anything, I don’t care how small. Maybe finding an interesting coin from another country or something. I’m not asking for a van full of Victoria’s Secret models to break down in front of my house, but when is it going to be my turn to NOT get completely shit on?
Why doesn’t anyone ever just tell me exactly what they mean? Why play games, why make each other jump through hoops? Why do I have to be the one who goes first every time? Can’t you see how I’ve ended up because of all that? Why can’t you just say “I see how hard you’re trying, so I’ll try too” ?
I have nothing fun to do today, and nobody to hang out with, so I’m going to do the laundry, and a lot of cleaning, and maybe if I have the ambition, I’ll try cooking something new. It’d just be nice to cook for someone once in a while.
Testosterone VS Will Power
I always act according to my brain, and frankly, I feel like sometimes I need to just STOP thinking and act according to my feelings. For some reason guys that do that seem to be more comfortable just being open and approaching girls. It could be a chicken/egg thing and be the other way around, but that doesn’t really matter. But I see all these asshole guys who cheat on girls, treat them...
drowning in air: Ode To the Nice Guys →
pfftttt: This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain… Yeah, this gets old for sure…
Don’t you hate when two other people you need to be around are clearly at odds and you have to just pretend not to notice or be bothered by it?
Long week almost over
I have been thinking long and hard about the things I need to accomplish this week, and I don’t really know what happened, but I just sort of dug in and deep and found some extra motivation to get everything in my power done and over with. The work isn’t over, but there’s a feeling of satisfaction involved. There’s a tremendous feeling of needing a change in my life now. i...
feeling of defeat prolonged
This isn’t that big a deal, as there are no repercussions on my life that shall stem from this, but there are a few things that my family asked me to do by the end of this week that I now realize I will not be able to complete, despite my best efforts. This is not an enjoyable feeling. Still trying my best though, that should count for something, yes?
two way street
This is not an attack on any one person, or anyone at all, just a thought that I felt compelled to voice: There are a lot of blogs by girls and about girls that speak of what kind of body type they have, and loving themselves even if they don’t look like magazine cover models, which is really great and something I support fully. BUT, a lot of those same blogs post pictures of guys with...
tough to figure out
I can’t really be certain, but I think that maybe I need to be a little bit more assertive, forceful even, in my dealings with girls. I have that habit of becoming the “guy friend” or the guy that’s “boyfriend material”, but never actually becoming more than a friend. I’m not sure what to do about it exactly, shy of just stating openly that I’m...
I really try hard at this lately, and don’t want to let it overwhelm me, but I struggle with the fact that I often feel unimportant to others. People don’t call to talk to me, I have to call them. Nobody stops by to see me, I have to go see them. Nobody asks me to go places, I have to ask them to do things. Even worse though, is when I just don’t get a response in those...
Slow and steady
A person that I admire greatly and look up to recently told me that he has noticed a change in my demeanor and attitude, as well as my confidence level, and that it suited me well, and it was “about damn time”. And that, I have to say, felt about as good as anything that I can recall in recent memory. And thank you to the handful of people that I have met on here, and have been kind...
Didn't quite have it in me
So, yesterday I went to pick up a pizza, and while I was standing there, waiting for my food to finish cooking, an incredibly beautiful girl walked through the door. She too stood around for a moment or two, but as it turns out, she was there to pick up her paycheck. I managed to smile at her, and it seemed as though she smiled back at me. I thought to myself that I should just try to talk to her,...